Happy May Day to everyone out there. Happy isn't exactly what I'm feeling now. Why? I'm not too sure. Probably a build-up of many things on my mind now. Let's start with the trivial stuff. For one, I've got a tuition lesson later and I've got no materials whatsoever for the poor girl to work with. Makes me feel so irresponsible going there with nothing to work with. Sigh. Then there's the stupid Thermo paper that's yet to be over. I'm already halfway out of the studying mood and I just can't seem to get my engine back on. Sigh. There isn't much of a choice starting tomorrow after the tuition lesson 'cause there wouldn't be much time left. Gotta start studying, by hook or by crook. Double sigh.
Anyway no more post-exam trip for me. 'Cause of some problem dear's facing at home, he feels he shouldn't be away. I guess even if he went he wouldn't really enjoy, 'cause his mind would probably be wondering how's things at home. Well, my decision was not to go as well since he didn't feel like it. Disappointed only because I thought the trip would be a good time for both of us to actually tie things up. All the loose ends hanging around, talk it out about what exactly is going on between the both of us. It seems things are pretty much stable already, but I can't help but feel the doubt, especially when I knew he was keeping his problems to himself. I understand that certain internal problems at home aren't that pleasant to say and I don't need the details, I just needed to know he's going through a tough time. I just wanted to let him know he doesn't have to pretend everything is alright. After he told me about it yesterday, when we were talking online about his deciding to pull out from the trip, I felt useless that I didn't detect his unease and I felt I didn't support him emotionally enough. I don't know maybe I'm just thinking too much. Maybe it's because of the show I watched in the afternoon about a husband keeping to himself about his job loss from his wife. His wife felt he didn't trust her enough to let her help in their problems. Maybe it's just the male's pride that they wouldn't let the females in on problems, thinking they can handle it, even though it may not be the best solution. Sigh. Well I guess right now these are the little situations we must face to test the both of us. Just hope dear will be feeling better soon and things at home will get better.
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