Drained

All of a sudden the blues just came.
Swept all my energy away just overnight.
These mood swings have gotta curb themselves.
Else I'll really be schizoprenic one day.
Hope the night cures everything.

Bruising and loving it

Obviously the pain did not bother us, when none of us noticed we were all bruised at the knees. Well none of us, except for lili at least, who was trying SOOOOOO hard to master the art of floating up effortless from the ground. I have a blue-black that's abt 3-4cm across, spots of purple from the cool sliding. Looks was obviously deceiving as well since PP said she totally didn't realise I had been landing hard on my knees.

But really happy that all of us are truly enjoying the experience. And the bonding too, of course. Sure we'll be more than just normal colleagues after these sessions. 1 plus month more to the end of this great great experience!

Aging = Dullness?

Was promptly by a conversation that took place in office last week to look through what I use to write about back during school days. Reading through those old entries, it appeared I really did have much more time and effort articulating my thoughts into words. Or it could be the increasing dullness of my mundane life. Nothing I write these days seem worthy of a second read.

To plainly blame it on age is unfair, as I see friends taking on their lives with extra zest and vigour. Making positive life-changing (minor or major) decisions, and enjoying the journey. My journey however appears to be plateauing off at a very average level. I need to strive for my peak, even if it may be short-lived.

I'm a been-there-done-that person, I'll live with it.

DJ Got Us Falling In Love Again

Usher (yeah man)

So we back in the club
Get that bodies rockin from side to side (si-side to side)
Thank God the week is done
I feel like a zombie gone back to life (back back to life)

Hands up, and suddenly we all got our hands up
No control of my body
Ain’t I seen you before?
I think I remember those eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes

Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again
Yeah, baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again
So dance, dance, like it’s the last, last night of your life, life
Gonna get you right
Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again

Keep downing drinks like this
Not tomorrow that just right now, now, now, now, now, now
Gonna set the roof on fire
Gonna burn this mother ****** down, down, down, down, down, down

Hands up, when the music drops
We both put our hands up
Put your hands on my body
Swear I seen you before
I think I remember those eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes

Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again
Yeah, baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again
So dance, dance, like it’s the last, last night of your life, life
Gonna get you right
Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again

[PITBULL rap]
In the cover of the music
Get naked baby
I’m sorry chica
Better holla at Tyrone
Let him know how I jump through your foot loop
Scolla chico two can
We’re from the blocka blocka o polaca
Were the boys get loose like wacka flacka
Oh no man, it’s global
Was’ up
Colale flacka
I wanna be your giant, no not your dada
Dale abre ai
Papa Nicholas baby
Let me see
Yo soi un Jaunito
Que stato taito
Yo freco, no OK

Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again
Yeah, baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again
So dance, dance, like it’s the last, last night of your life, life
Gonna get you right

Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again
Yeah, baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again
So dance, dance, like it’s the last, last night of your life, life
Gonna get you right

Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again
Yeah, thank you DJ

Predator and the Prey

First of all I need to make a disclaimer. The following is purely an observation and NOT relating to a personal experience. Here goes...

It's true when they say the most successful predator are those who lure their prey to them. They don't need to waste effort chasing, just pure smarts with great tactics to achieve their aim. While some may do it with such grace and be absolutely natural at it, others have to spend the extra effort devising their plans. However, the former still holds the advantage of being seemingly innocent and real, rather than play-acting.

Well, not to beat around the bush this discovery was triggered not from observation of animals of course but our own kind. Humans. Flaunting your talents and skills are usually taken as "trying too hard". But not when you know how to flaunt them appropriately, with the right "props". As I'm no expert in flaunt-ology, it seems small animals and young kids (the cuter the better, of cos) are total babe magnets. Although fat wallets and great track records are great tools too, they pale in comparison in the area of subtlety. The charm that is exuded definitely goes more than skin deep. By these methods the value of the predator is risen and prey would reach a point where it succumbs to the awe and be "devoured".

Come to think of it, was I the prey or the predator? Although I hate to admit I did the "chasing", I'll much prefer to take the credit of being a smart predator.

Uh-oh Uh-oh

You should be dancing... Yeah...
Dancing... Yeah...

Yup, I don't know what I've gotten myself into, but what's committed is committed. Only the 3rd lesson out of 8, and I'm aching and feeling SOOOOOO tired. But certainly makes me fondly recall the MJ times back in Uni. Hip roll, body ripple, isolation, popping, locking. Ah!! Those were the carefree days.

Will be need loads of practice to get back in shape. *Hip isolation* *Head flick* Oh my god, oh my god! I think I just pulled a neck muscle.

Post-Bali Withdrawal

The after-effects of a holiday only last as long as the holiday did. So as I approach the 1 week mark since my return, I am majorly feeling the pain of being back at work and in the hectic environment.

SAVE ME!!!! Bah.

Control = Fulfillment

After thinking hard and long on why I'm so dissatisfied with what I'm doing, it suddenly dawned upon me that it could have been my control freak nature which is the cause. Day in day out I'm under the control of a system that dictates my every path and decision. So what if I helped "fulfilled" a requirement? I hardly feel the "fulfillment" as it wasn't even my decision to push it through. My customers decide what they want, my bosses decide if they can want it. Me? I'm just a messenger, articulating their needs into words.

Goodness, to think it took me so long to realise. What a dumbass.

The importance of socks

On the way to work this morning and I couldn't stop staring at the guy sitting opposite me in the bus. No, not because he was drop-dead good-looking or neither was he some celebrity or lookalike. A young man, probably in his late twenties, in the usual working attire a nicely ironed shirt, black pants, decent belt, black Hush Puppies shoes. See what's missing? As we would all have realised how our pants slightly rides up when we sit down, which shows the all important piece of clothing most of us conveniently forget about. Yes, it is the humble pair of socks that hides under our pants most of the time, keeping our feet somewhat dry and hygienic. Back to what I saw, I noticed the exposed legs and the first I thought was "Where's his socks?" So being the usual curious me, I continued to stare at his shoes. "Oh, ankle socks. But why ankle socks with office wear? Damn off la." Those were my exact thoughts. Then I couldn't help but try to sense any tinge of embarrassment from him about wearing the wrong kind of socks. Maybe his longer socks couldn't dry in time from the past weekend which had been raining. Maybe his dog chewed up his sock while he was wearing them in the morning. But sadly in my half hour bus ride I didn't. So the eye sore was too much for me to bear so I decided to look away. But being the chronically judgmental me, I started noticing everyone's socks. Phew. Only 1 case today.

I think I'm mental.

Monday = Dread-day

Totally sleepy in office right now. Couldn't convince myself that I still had 3 more weeks to my long-awaited holiday and I needed to go to work on a dreaded monday. Now I'm yawning in regularly intervals of 2 mins, with random tearing from the extensive intake of air. No mood whatsoever for anything.

SHOPPING!!!!

FINALLY after almost a year? C&K shoe sale!!! It's really not a sin since I've maintain abstinence for the WHOLE time!!! Not a tinge of guilt in my veins! woohoo~ ultimate happiness~

I'll follow up with that shopping mood for sunday and do some major wardrobe overhaul!!! Happiness~

Love and Responsibility

This week's news has been all about the passing of Mdm Kwa Geok Choo or Mrs Lee Kuan Yew as most of us will likely remember her as. I had always heard of the strong unfaltering and somewhat authoritarian ways of Mr LKY. However over the past few days, he portrayed none of that. All that was seen was his need for privacy. Likely to come to terms with the inevitable. His health seemed to have taken a rapid downturn. His frailty was more evident. He must have loved her dearly. He must still love her, even when she is now in God's arms.

This brings a thought to mind. Was she so loving to the extent of holding herself responsible for her family? Or was she so responsible that she took it upon herself to love her family so much? I think she did both. It was what my colleagues had discussed previously on functional and unconditional love. Unconditional love cannot be sustained without practicality. While functional love can never blossom into lasting happiness. If either kind of love is missing, the love will likely be short-lived or unhappy. To fulfil the functions of a wife and mother, and also balance the romance is something I truly admire.

To match it up to Mr LKY's speech where he said about marriage, it fair to relate it to women's perspective. "You either marry the man who loves you, or make the man you marry love you." It works as a 2 way-traffic. And to do so, the responsibilities and romance in the relationship must be balanced.

So please do not blindly tell someone you love him and have no means to take care of his basic needs. True love doesn't ask for lofty desires, but the simple companionship and peace of mind. This is my take-home for the entire episode of Mrs Lee's (which I prefer 'cause of how excellent she was as a partner to Mr Lee) passing.

When September ends....

Quite the opposite to what Green Day's When September Ends portrays, September to me seems like a great month to enjoy. For starters, I'm having my 2nd "honeymoon" at work. Well, I'm not hoping it will be easy, but at least it's a fresh start. From my predecessor's reputation, I suppose things wouldn't be that messy. I hope. In any case, even if it's not, it'll give me a great chance to show my organisational skills and get everything back in place. Of course the former is preferred.

The next superb piece of news is the Sale of Balance Flats FINALLY came again. Although it's another round of finances to calculate, I'm sure I'll enjoy it fully. Looking through our options together, planning our next steps together, looking forward to the faithful day. :) Thinking about these things always bring a smile to my face. Bring me back to the point a friend said, "You don't have to know why you love someone." Well, you just feel it...

Change is finally at my doorstep

That says it all, I'm finally gonna change the boring routine I've been dragging myself through for the past 2 years. While some think it's a long time, others think it's too hasty. Whatever the case, I'm glad it's happening, considering the unhappiness I've been feeling inside. As much as I try to hide it under the drama-mama act or reacting politically/socially correct, these past months have been pretty torturous to my self-esteem. Constantly having to distract myself with side events just proves how much I value the work I do. Zilch. Cero. Kosong.

So put all things behind, I'm gonna move on to be a happier person. :)

Sleepiness to the max

Fighting my extremely heavy eyelids... It's like they gained a kg each over the night, even though I tossed and turned to get myself to sleep last night. YaWnZ.

Jason Mraz's I'm Yours has been playing non-stop in my head for the entire weekend. So I decided to look for it online.


While I was looking for it online, found some comments about Jason Mraz copying another song for his other hit single Lucky. The song didn't really click with me, but it does sound really pleasant. Guess people are always quick to criticise and compare, rather than to look at the good pointers. Supposedly the rhythm was similar (this is according to what I read, 'cause I've not heard the other song before), but looking at the lyrics I think it's good enough to stand as a good piece of work.

Celebrating the Spirit of the SYOG

It probably isn't psychic to guess what's on the front page of the newspapers today.

YOG YOG YOG.

Not that I'll complain 'cause I simply love the snapshots of the Games. It's especially heartwarming to read the reports/commentaries thru'out the entire period, irregardless if it's truly the general public's sentiments or the writer's biased views, more so because they were largely positive. The only regret was that as the host nation to this inaugural event was slow to warm up and being Singaporeans full of criticism before the Games. But as the YOG progressed thru the 2 weeks, the spirits rose and some critics were made to swallow their earlier comments. Looking at how much the athletes enjoyed themselves and how much valuable experience (and friendships) the volunteers took home, I kinda wish I could have been more physically part of it. Nonetheless, mental support is better than nothing I guess.

Today while travelling to work, I saw someone in a polo tee with "USA" across his back. Assuming the guy was Singaporean, I thought "why not wear SINGAPORE on our backs instead?" 'cause I'm sure Singaporean who experienced the exuberance of the Games first-hand (like watching the Cubs play) would willingly do so. Just a random thought of how we can all be more proud of our nation. This SYOG has certainly evoked more patriotism than past NDPs had (not to criticise the organisers for it, since it's obviously different playing fields). And for that it deserves all the applause, for the single reason that it was SINGAPORE's YOG, our own to call. *sMiLEs*

Being Human

Today's paper seemed to have more human touch. Maybe it's the reader's interpretation too. Of the multitude of feelings thru the 13 days of YOG from athletes, delegates, volunteers, spectators and man-on-the-street which are mostly of joy. Of the hostage tragedy in Philippines and the admission of responsibilities. Of the Pakistan floods and calls to deliver more aid.

Gives the feeling we should all step back, look at the world, stop our rat race and help each other. Feel inspired to join a volunteer mission now, maybe I could look to doing that in near future... :)

Bouts of Sian-sation and Moodiness

Been totally unproductive today. A stack of files on the right of my table for archiving. A stack under my left arm to complete. And yet I find myself typing away on blogger.com. Last week I was just hoping September don't come so fast. Today I'm absolutely yearning for it. Why do I put myself through such emotional yo-yo? I think I'm masochistic. Indeed a happy lunch is needed. Then again it might not turn out as happy as it should. I should stop being so judgemental, maybe that'll help.

Differences

Why do we leave our lives to emotions and then regret when bad luck hits? Does logic equate to lack of emotions? Could we actually be logically emotional, i.e. putting your feelings where they should be? Frankly if people wish to squander their feelings around irrationally and when things go wrong, feel sorry for themselves and find it difficult to move on, those are the consequences.

我相信一切跟随着因果的道理。有因就有果，有时只是时辰未到，所以似乎我们有着不同的对待。可能我把事情看得太ideal, but 为什么又要看得如此悲观呢？This world is full of skepticism and being in it is way too tiring. 时时刻刻都要提防小人，提高自我的防卫， 真叫人喘不过气。

Enough is enough. 受够了。

Change is the only Constant

After months of negativity, I've finally set my mind to improve my situation. Change. Something which I have been so reluctant to do, yet yearn to have. Ironic right? But yes I've made the decision. Let's pray it's a good one.

Tired body meets crappy mood plus more unhappiness. I thought this was supposed to be a joyous season.

Seems not.

Happy Two Thousand-Ten! .. or should it be Twenty-Ten?

This must be the weirdest debate I've heard since the start of the millenium. Does it really matter? So what if I prefer to call it Two-O-One-O? Grammatically wrong? Aesthetically unappealing? Tongue-twister? In stark contrast to our Singlish logic, the point is that the message gets across, how matter it's said. British, American, Broken, Indian-accented, Melayu-ised, PRC fake-Brit-accented, etc. (No offence to the examples, it's just emphasizing my point that it makes no difference.) This reason exactly is why I embrace my home-grown Singlish, and the principle behind it. Use ANY language, ANY accent, good grammar NOT required, punctuation when you feel like it. It gives the user the freedom to practise the array of languages acquired in our multi-faceted island (how matter limited the knowledge to each language), further displaying our ever interesting cultures.

Happy 2010!!