Busy busy buzz buzz

Been pretty lazy recently, just couldn't get myself to start on my FYP, projects and tutorials let alone blog. But well getting the engine going already, organized and planned what I needed to do for my FYP, which was mainly literature research for now. Been keeping up with my modules too, and for my FIRST quiz for the year (special sem not included, since EM is like so duh) I knew what I was writing and when I checked I couldn't really find any fault! Good start to the semester I guess. Pretty proud of myself actually. *gRinZ* Probably the IA break came at a timely part of my uni studies, when it's getting all saturated up there. Hopefully this result keeps up and maybe my chances of a 2nd upper can still be realised.

~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~

Amidst all the prep for preview, as a "avid" (though sadly unappreciated) resident for the past few years, I found time to turn up for the rally and polling. Rally was a disappointing experience for me. Seems that the freshies especially aren't at all aware of what they are getting themselves into. Like I always say JCRC is not a playing field for you to try out your leadership skills, if you really are venturing into it for the 1st time better make sure you've got PLENTY of preparation done. But then again, there were people that convinced me they are ready too. Preparation, vision, sincerity, humility, etc. All the best to them! Back to why it was so disappointing. Rally which was supposed to be where the nominees spoke for themselves and proposed their solutions to the problems residents have been facing, became a war ground between unhappy residents and defenders of the throne (if you get what I mean). Whether a comment is constructive or destructive is what the receipient makes of it, whereas the sender's role is to exercise tact. Apparently both was lacking during that night. (Here I'm exercising tact using very mild language and making very general statements. But then again this is my blog and it's also where I vent my frustration, so here goes.) Don't complain and relieve your guilty conscience by shifting your incompetency to others. If you didn't or couldn't do something admit it. If you did try and couldn't, then explain it crystal clearly, we are not unreasonably punks, anyway I personally didn't like the tone used, let alone the incompetency. Another thing that I felt pretty affected by was how personally issues were taken. The HAS issue of seniors not being able to return to hall was posed to the president nominee, asking for a solution to it. Yet it was taken by the current committee as a blow at them. Seriously speaking, the seniors present probably knew who was the person concerned, how the response was given fell short of my expectations. The issue had a very peaceful answer to it which was feedback, in the sense of from JCRC to the residents whether positive or negative. If a promise cannot be fulfilled, feedback and if possible suggest other solutions, not keep mum and act betrayed when questioned. Losing friendship over such matters is the last time I wish to see.

~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~

Other than all the hu-ha, the whole of last week was taken up mainly by DnD, cause of the pageant preview which jus went past on Saturday. Lots of things happened on top of the normal programme, but that's for another day.

How much you flirt??

How much you flirt??

Question 1
Late at night, you are partying with a friend of the opposite sex. If you don't leave now, you would miss the last bus. What would you do?
a. Who cares...continue to party -- Go To Question 2
b. Ask if he would send you home -- Go To Question 3
c. Say "Good-Bye" to him and run after the bus -- Go To Question 4


Question 2
While having a meal with a friend, you saw that what he/she had ordered seemed quite delicious. Would you ask to have a taste of his/her food?
a. Yes --- Go to Question 5
b. No --- Go to Question 6


Question 3
You saw something nice while shopping but you don't have the means to buy it. Would you...
a. Shrug your shoulders and forget it. --- Go to Question 7
b. Go ahead and flash your credit card --- Go to Question 6


Question 4
You have a job offer that is paying better than your present job. You would...
a. It?s a good offer. Type your resignation letter now --- Go to Question 8
b. The present boss is treating you well. Stay cause of loyalty! --- Go to Question 7


Question 5
Your views on school regulations are...
a. Would never compromise to them. --- Go To Question 9
b. See it there is loopholes and try to get thru them. --- Go to Question 10
c. Would definitely keep to them! --- Go To Question 12


Question 6
A person from the opposite sex expresses his/her love for you would...
a. Smile and think highly of your charms --- Go to Question 9
b. Reject him/her and keep a distance --- Go To Question 10
c. Run off without even answering! --- Go To Question 12


Question 7
You are in your boyfriend/girlfriend's bedroom and you saw a photo of him/her with his/her old flame. You would...
a. See and forget because it?s all in the past. --- Go to Question 10
b. Get real mad and leave the room. --- Go to Question 11


Question 8
Would you rewrite a lecture note again because your handwriting is untidy?
a. Yes --- Go To Question 12
b. No --- Go To Question 11


Question 9
When wearing a pair of mini skirts/ shorts, what would u choose as the top?
a. A tight fitting tee --- Go to Question 13
b. A loose fitting tee --- Go to Question 14


Question 10
On a tour, the tour guide specifically tells you not to venture to a certain area because it's dangerous. Would you out of curiosity, go ahead without listening to him?
a. Yes --- go to Question 13
b. No --- go to Question 14


Question 11
When out with a friend of the same sex, would you hold hands and walk?
a. Yes ---- Go to Question 15
b. No ---- Go to Question 16


Question 12
Wearing a newly bought swimsuit, would you feel especially eye-catching' and 'sharp' when walking by the pool?
a. Yes --- go to Question 14
b. No --- go to Question 16


Question 13
Are you the impulsive type? Always acting on the instant you get the idea without thinking carefully.
a. Yes ---- Type A
b. No ---- Go to Question 14


Question 14
Do you still maintain friendship with your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend?
a. Yes ---- Type B
b. No ----- Go to Question 15


Question 15
Every time you pack for a tour, you would always end up packing more than what you need?
a. Yes ---- go to Question 16
b. No --- Type C


Question 16
Do you mind sharing the same cup with others?
a. Yes --- Type D
b. No ---- Type C

-=<{END OF QUESTIONS}>=-


RESULT

TYPE A --- 90% FLIRT
You fall in love easily most of the time getting trapped in a triangular relationship. Adding to the fact that you do not commit to your partner, you enjoy having suitors. To put it simply, YOU ARE FAR FROM FAITHFUL.


TYPE B --- 70% FLIRT
You are partially flirtatious by nature. You enjoy being pampered and pursued by others so occasionally you would harbor the thoughts of 'stepping on 2 boats'. BUT...as you are sensitive to your partner, you do try to restrain yourself.


TYPE C --- 40% FLIRT
You are shy by nature and have only a small circle of friends. This attributes to the fact that you would not have a high chance of getting trapped in a triangular relationship.


TYPE D --- 0% FLIRT
You have high morality and it?s against infidelity. Whoever is with you is the most fortunate but pray that your partner does not belong to any of the above group!

Dethroned.

Second time I'm blogging from the hall's computer room. Sitting here still deciding if I should be waiting for someone for near 3 hours. It's weird that I know I'm being slighted, yet I'm letting it happen to me. Sounds dumb to sit around, loiter around for 2 hours, right? But that's what I'm doing now exactly, if not I'll have long been on the train back home already.

It just been an awfully depressing day, so much that I wish to cry now. But since I'm not exactly alone in the room, suppression is the only way. I feel like such a loner, coming and going alone. It's not independence, I like to call it lack of human relations. I walk to class without a person to sit with, and leave not having anyone to wait for. I stand in the train full of strangers and I return home to an empty house. What have I done to my life? It wasn't like this before. There are friends around, but not those that will go "Hey, where's cynner?" I was just plain forgotten.

Sometimes I feel like a major irritant, getting the shoo-offs and oh-my-god-why-is-she-here. All I know is that I put up a facade of a strong independent new-age woman, yet I lack that self-esteem to really pull it through. I suck. Big time. And yes, I'm still undecided and waiting.

cLueLeSS

I don't like guessing. Predicting and not getting any confirmation sucks. I hate uncertainty. Why can everything be crystal clear? Why do we have doubts? It's tough to react when the signal put forth isn't for the intended response. Like what I revised for my PE today, the receptor receive the signal extracellular and transmit a corresponding response intracellular. If it does fails, there's a problem. So what's the problem? A is said but instead of A', B' is expected. How am I supposed to be 100% accurate in second-guessing everything? When would I know A is supposed to yield A' and not B'?

Similarly, signals send can yield completely unintended responses. It like sendind a signal intracellular for transcription, yet you get cell death. Totally different responses, with completely devastating effects. Isn't it clear enough that when I send signal A I expect to get A' for my response? Why do I get B' so often? Was my signal warped? Direction and mode of transmission skewed? Receptor-unfriendly?

Here I sit tired from the first week of school, travelling a total of 3+ hours to and fro everyday. Unappreciated and babbling on about what I've learnt so far. It's hard but who knows, few do if not none. Is less more? Or will less be always less and more never enough? Physically and mentally drained. It's not just about school. Why do I feel so privileged at times and downright trampled on the next? Seriously I rather get trampled on all the time rather than face such uncertain conditions. At least I can get myself mentally prepared if not physically prepared for the beating.

My last FOC

Despite the detachment throughout the entire camp, can't help but feel pretty sad that it's my last FOC. The batch of seniors who convocated last week came back for the closing ceremony. Had nice little chats and gossips about the hall and its people.

Many things happened over the past year, good and bad. Some people got together while others parted due to various reasons. Many graduated happily, while some left due to no choice. It's always hard to say good-bye. I suddenly understand it so well after tonight. In less than a year, I'll bid farewell to a place I've called home for more than 3 years and to many friends I've grown to live with. It'll be hard to meet up as often, so I really do hope to be able to get back in hall for my final year and spend some quality time with these friends. Also my darling, who I've gotten so used to having around everyday. When working life starts, time will be restricted to evenings after work and weekends, unlike now when we could meet between lessons and immediately after classes.

I feel so blessed in fact that my life has always been smooth-sailing. Never had to worry about doing terribly for school, or short of avenues to exhibit my capabilities. When I thought my love life will never be fairytale-like, my prince fell so suddenly beside me in a somewhat subtle, yet sudden way. Never short of an adventure, yet always within my control. That's my life so far. I'm such a lucky bastard I can't stand it. Thanks everyone.

Feels different...

Been away at camp for the whole of this week. Came back to hall on Sunday just like I would when I was staying in hall, just that now I'm bunking in Leon's room, instead of a room of my own.

That aside first time being a programmer, doing all the behine-the-scene jobs of the FOC. Considering I've always been in the front as a GL or SA, it's still a pretty fresh experience and pretty pleasant change. A greater appreciation to the running of FOC and tolerance to the restrictions they impose.

Other than the positive factors, I can't help but feel pretty isolated in the whole process. Of the final year, I'm the only female around. Pretty sian. Apart from programmer duties, I'm basically tagging along the DnD PCs when they did their interviews and rehearsals. So useless and gen pi chong. Felt so detached from the whole process, as if I'm just being there to make up the numbers. Sadly, to some extent I can't wait to end this whole thing somehow so I can just get home and get back to my isolation chamber. So many things just pisses me off, can't wait for it to just end.

Time to get back to camp, closing ceremony is in less than half hour. Soon it'll be over and I'll be back.