Thursday, 26 November 2009
Holiday holiday!!
As much as my blog title sounds uber excited, I'm in like the most un-inspired mood this morning. As much as tomorrow's a holiday, I've to learn to survive today. Oh, "XXX is hiring" is like the happiest sentence I've heard this morning. Hope I hear more of these soon.
Tuesday, 24 November 2009
Unmotivated
Looking at the time of this entry, really shows my concentration at work. Need to review my life goals.
Friday, 13 November 2009
Coming to terms
After weeks of OTs and apparent non-appreciation, I took my first step towards coming to terms that I will do as much as my heart tells me. It felt like a day that I wanna just pack up and go. And I did. Felt surprisingly good. So I guess, as much I should be putting up the "Employee of the Year" performance, let's be realistic. Don't do anything additional, especially when you know it's gonna get you all pissed and gloomy even when you are outta office. My family and friends don't deserve such treatment in the first place, since it's not the slightest bit their causing.
Gonna cuddle up in my blankie now and watch tv till I'm asleep. Please with myself that I finally bothered to clear up my bank accounts/cards issues. Small pat on the back for the cynner.
Gonna cuddle up in my blankie now and watch tv till I'm asleep. Please with myself that I finally bothered to clear up my bank accounts/cards issues. Small pat on the back for the cynner.
Saturday, 24 October 2009
Managing "Output"
Been a tensed 2 weeks at work, following a sudden tightening of staff monitoring from the lower management. As the even lower employees, we feel the brunt of it all. Initially it was like a battle of the generations, but after practising what we do best at work "communicate" (Note: the "quote" is highly intentionally. For what intentions? it's up to your interpretations.), it became clear we were all on the same boat.
So started 2 weeks of major wayang-ing, to show that we are indeed working our asses off. Apparently independent learning/working isn't really that well-received and effective here. No one see the shit you are going through nor appreciates the effort put in to get out. Why? 'Cause nobody knows. So 'making noise' became a daily routine practice. Whether are not advice is needed, just make yourself heard. And it'll be good to come up with 1 major hoo-ha every week or 2 that the middle management will notice.
I have to admit, I really don't think I'm doing anything more than before these 2 weeks. Fact being that I have already been very packed. "I'm working more than I'm paid." was the quote of the week. Anyway, to conclude output is like the most subjective word here. Who, what, when, where, how is output determined? Doesn't really quantify most explicitly to me. Drop me a comment if you can.
So started 2 weeks of major wayang-ing, to show that we are indeed working our asses off. Apparently independent learning/working isn't really that well-received and effective here. No one see the shit you are going through nor appreciates the effort put in to get out. Why? 'Cause nobody knows. So 'making noise' became a daily routine practice. Whether are not advice is needed, just make yourself heard. And it'll be good to come up with 1 major hoo-ha every week or 2 that the middle management will notice.
I have to admit, I really don't think I'm doing anything more than before these 2 weeks. Fact being that I have already been very packed. "I'm working more than I'm paid." was the quote of the week. Anyway, to conclude output is like the most subjective word here. Who, what, when, where, how is output determined? Doesn't really quantify most explicitly to me. Drop me a comment if you can.
Thursday, 8 October 2009
Pain, pain go away...
Goodness. Actually it isn't all that painful, but it's just stinging. It'm talking about my gums. Had my tooth patched up last sunday at the dentist. As my last filling cracked (maybe bit something hard or what, which I didn't even realise), and possibly cracked my tooth too. But the dentist drilled and picked at the tooth and to my relief the crack was considered superficial. But after he was done, most of my tooth was drilled off and he had to go so deep that my gum bled. Don't blame him, cause he need to make sure he could actually save the tooth, otherwise I would have to do root canal.
Anyway the gum seemed to have heal after 2 days, but on the 3rd day it started hurting and bleeding. No major blood loss, stinging feeling. Maybe it's the new toothbrush, my fragile gums from the treatment that day proved that they were still "traumatised". Anyway it's hurting and I hope it'll get better 'cause my next check more than 1 month away and bearing with it will be an utter pain. Literally.
Anyway the gum seemed to have heal after 2 days, but on the 3rd day it started hurting and bleeding. No major blood loss, stinging feeling. Maybe it's the new toothbrush, my fragile gums from the treatment that day proved that they were still "traumatised". Anyway it's hurting and I hope it'll get better 'cause my next check more than 1 month away and bearing with it will be an utter pain. Literally.
Tuesday, 6 October 2009
Tuesday raWks!
A stark difference to how I felt yesterday, despite the gloomy weather. The rain can't dampen my happy mood, knowing I don't have to stay back late for work today. *touch wood* just in case. Everything seemed more orderly and smooth, which was evidently missing in the last 2 weeks with all my papers constantly getting rejected. Spent so much time gossiping today that I'm starting to believe there may be a term called gossip therapy that work just as well as retail therapy. Found out about X's little secret from my spy (who also has been spying on me through X). So in return of being spied on, I was entrusted with the little gossip. Haha.
During lunch, we gossiped about the what's been on the papers in recent weeks. The Miss World who-ha and all. It's hard to take in all that written and said considering I knew Claire before, but I can't doubt that people can change or simply hide their true personalities. Nonetheless I'll trust that my friends earn their friendship with me, as I have done with them. It's just paparazzi anyway, who know what's really true? Never realised I enjoyed such small bitchy talks so much. Goodness I've been bitchified and auntified. :P
During lunch, we gossiped about the what's been on the papers in recent weeks. The Miss World who-ha and all. It's hard to take in all that written and said considering I knew Claire before, but I can't doubt that people can change or simply hide their true personalities. Nonetheless I'll trust that my friends earn their friendship with me, as I have done with them. It's just paparazzi anyway, who know what's really true? Never realised I enjoyed such small bitchy talks so much. Goodness I've been bitchified and auntified. :P
Sunday, 4 October 2009
Confused
Sometimes I wonder what I really want.
When it seems I already have it, it doesn't feel right.
When I start doubting it, I starting questioning myself instead.
Sometimes it seems all peaceful, sometimes everything just seems to repel.
Is it because I don't make enough effort to understand? Or is it I'm too difficult to comprehend?
Then again, could it be that my emotions and intentions are overly opened and readable that it seems I don't consider cirumstances?
When I tell myself to put it aside and try to divert my attention, at the back of my head the images and possiblities constantly flash through.
Maybe I'm tired.
Maybe it is really draining.
Maybe it's my fault.
Maybe it's not.
Maybe I need to try harder.
Maybe I need to not try so hard.
Maybe I need time alone.
Maybe I need time not so alone.
I'm just confused.
When it seems I already have it, it doesn't feel right.
When I start doubting it, I starting questioning myself instead.
Sometimes it seems all peaceful, sometimes everything just seems to repel.
Is it because I don't make enough effort to understand? Or is it I'm too difficult to comprehend?
Then again, could it be that my emotions and intentions are overly opened and readable that it seems I don't consider cirumstances?
When I tell myself to put it aside and try to divert my attention, at the back of my head the images and possiblities constantly flash through.
Maybe I'm tired.
Maybe it is really draining.
Maybe it's my fault.
Maybe it's not.
Maybe I need to try harder.
Maybe I need to not try so hard.
Maybe I need time alone.
Maybe I need time not so alone.
I'm just confused.
Tuesday, 29 September 2009
No talking allowed
Been home for the last 2 days, due to a bad throat infection. The viral infection has spreaded to my voice apparently resulting in my super "sexy" voice. Doctor ordered me to talk less, in fact to not talk if possible. Which is hard, considering my inquisitive and basically over-active mouth. Shall try to zip up for the rest of the week at least, until I feel the strain on my throat all gone.
*Silence*
*Silence*
Sunday, 27 September 2009
Feels like crap
The late night yesterday seems to have taken its toll. The sore throat is sore AGAIN. The blocked nose is still there (though the running seems to have stopped). And the cough is getting from bad to worse. As much as I wish to go back to office tomorrow to clear my piled-up work, I'm in the 心有余而力不足 state.
Time for medicine and catch more rest.
Time for medicine and catch more rest.
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
Sore Throat... Pain!!
Freaking sore throat, came outta the blue!! Think I'm super dehydrated too. Lips cracking. Semi-blocked nose. Throat so sore it hurts to breath normally.
Feel like crap.
Feel like crap.
"45 Lessons Life Taught Me" by Regina Brett
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
Monday, 21 September 2009
Feeling the burn
Needed to vent some frustration, actually more of needing to nag. Been so worn out the past month plus that even a short getaway didn't really help. My mind's been on work despite the long weekend, which doesn't help in the hectic weeks to come. Now I understand why people don't appreciate holidays during busy times. Holiday = less working days, which is supposed to be a good thing. BUT, as workload remains equal, less workdays = longer working hours, which is crap. I was walking to the interchange after work to catch a bus home, and I couldn't help but feel sad (not yet depressed, fortunately) that I missed the sun. It was a stark difference from when I went home early one day (efficiency was like zilch that day) and I felt good. So good that I finished dinner chatted online, played game and woke up happy the next day.
I should really do something about how I think about my work. As of current state the detestation is just festering in me, and if I don't rid it, I'm gonna start hating myself. That's in the worst-case scenario of course. But, in my definition, imaginable equates possible, so I'm not taking my chances.
I should really do something about how I think about my work. As of current state the detestation is just festering in me, and if I don't rid it, I'm gonna start hating myself. That's in the worst-case scenario of course. But, in my definition, imaginable equates possible, so I'm not taking my chances.
Sunday, 28 June 2009
Back from a long long truancy
Okay, I've played a long enough truant from blogging, so I guess it's time to instil back some form of discipline. :P
Just watched a short ET clip on the King of Pop. As much as how I didn't appreciate the way he managed his personal life, I do enjoy his many hits. Many of which held strong messages, awaking the humanity in us. A street artist sings Heal the World, the chances are 8 out of 10 people probably can recognize it. Say Moonwalk my guess is a good 5 or even 6 people would know the master at it. He had an amazing career from the time of Jackson Five. Don't blame it on the sunshine, don't blame it on the moonlight. Don't blame it on the good times, blame it on the boogie And I just simply love the inspirational songs.
Whatever it is, as much as I'm complaining about the frequency of his songs being played on radio, I'm not as resistant as I sound.
Just watched a short ET clip on the King of Pop. As much as how I didn't appreciate the way he managed his personal life, I do enjoy his many hits. Many of which held strong messages, awaking the humanity in us. A street artist sings Heal the World, the chances are 8 out of 10 people probably can recognize it. Say Moonwalk my guess is a good 5 or even 6 people would know the master at it. He had an amazing career from the time of Jackson Five. Don't blame it on the sunshine, don't blame it on the moonlight. Don't blame it on the good times, blame it on the boogie And I just simply love the inspirational songs.
Whatever it is, as much as I'm complaining about the frequency of his songs being played on radio, I'm not as resistant as I sound.
Sunday, 15 February 2009
Little joys
A simple day of celebration, yet it seemed better than any other we've had. Maybe it's because each year the feeling just gets better.
A takeaway bowl of mee-sua with 2 bottles of liang-teh for lunch. Caught The Curious Case of Benjamin Button that was all for "outdoor" activities. Headed home, but not before getting some groceries for our steamboat dinner. Sat in front of the TV, eating our meatballs and mushrooms, commenting on the "bad man" and "bad woman" in the taiwanese serial. After clean-up, sat down and talked about anything that came to mind. Well, not forgetting our dear Baby and Orh-Orh that provide us with no dull moments, letting our creative juices flow as to what they might be thinking and saying if they had minds of their own.
It's these times that reassures the heart that whatever troubles the relationship is only so minute and nothing major will ever disrupt it. In any case, the heart feels at ease, leaving the mind at peace with it too. Goodnight.
A takeaway bowl of mee-sua with 2 bottles of liang-teh for lunch. Caught The Curious Case of Benjamin Button that was all for "outdoor" activities. Headed home, but not before getting some groceries for our steamboat dinner. Sat in front of the TV, eating our meatballs and mushrooms, commenting on the "bad man" and "bad woman" in the taiwanese serial. After clean-up, sat down and talked about anything that came to mind. Well, not forgetting our dear Baby and Orh-Orh that provide us with no dull moments, letting our creative juices flow as to what they might be thinking and saying if they had minds of their own.
It's these times that reassures the heart that whatever troubles the relationship is only so minute and nothing major will ever disrupt it. In any case, the heart feels at ease, leaving the mind at peace with it too. Goodnight.
Monday, 9 February 2009
Bless everyone with loads of LurvEee
Watched the bright full moon on the quiet walk home. Wish everyone a beautiful year filled with peace and love. Lots of them. :)
Share yours if you have enough to spare. A little smile for the person who bothers to hold the door for you, which many have forgotten to do or appreciate. Play a little peekaboo with the baby you see on the train. Let loose once in a while and indulge in a little chocolate.
Happy Valentine's.
Share yours if you have enough to spare. A little smile for the person who bothers to hold the door for you, which many have forgotten to do or appreciate. Play a little peekaboo with the baby you see on the train. Let loose once in a while and indulge in a little chocolate.
Happy Valentine's.
Saturday, 24 January 2009
Goodbye to clutter
Clearing my dusty, overflowing room right now. So proud of myself today, clean my windows and fan, changed and washed my bedsheets and blankie, sun my bolster and 狠心的 threw out loads of stuff.
Resolution: Stop keeping junk, only to throw them out years later. :P
Resolution: Stop keeping junk, only to throw them out years later. :P
Saturday, 17 January 2009
黑皮牛儿！aka Happy Ox Year!
Finally after a long long wait of 11 years my dear Mister Ox is back to visit. Seems that he has "blossomed" in proportion and this year the most common comment heard of him is "Hey isn't that a pig? It isn't the year of pig right? No wait, oh there's the tiny horns!" He should really set himself a new cycle resolution and make sure it's kept when we see him 12 years later.
Can't really celebrate this year due to the passing of my grandma, but the mood is still there somehow. The radio and tv programmes constantly remind us it's the festive season to be joyful and generous (luckily I'm still on the receiving end *giggles*). Anyway my resolution this year is to make the best out of all opportunities I'm presented. Be thick-skin, network, get to know new people and re-connect with old friends. Which is why I appreciate efforts from old buddies when they organise gatherings and send rubbish mass emails. At least it keeps us connected (and our inbox flooded). So my first step was to attend my sec school NPCC gathering. Small, but cosy. Seems easier to talk to the guys now then before, previously there's only complaints to speak of. No offence guys, it's all history, I promise. Anyway the opportunities to network just come like fish to water. Then, my new colleague is a schoolmate from jc, not particularly familiar previously but the common roots were enough to strike a good start. Tomorrow's gonna be another day! Actually later, since it's past 12 midnight. Gonna spare half hour of my afternoon to catch up with a few old friends, hopefully teachers too, from Anderson. The good ol' days re-lived. Time for bed!
Can't really celebrate this year due to the passing of my grandma, but the mood is still there somehow. The radio and tv programmes constantly remind us it's the festive season to be joyful and generous (luckily I'm still on the receiving end *giggles*). Anyway my resolution this year is to make the best out of all opportunities I'm presented. Be thick-skin, network, get to know new people and re-connect with old friends. Which is why I appreciate efforts from old buddies when they organise gatherings and send rubbish mass emails. At least it keeps us connected (and our inbox flooded). So my first step was to attend my sec school NPCC gathering. Small, but cosy. Seems easier to talk to the guys now then before, previously there's only complaints to speak of. No offence guys, it's all history, I promise. Anyway the opportunities to network just come like fish to water. Then, my new colleague is a schoolmate from jc, not particularly familiar previously but the common roots were enough to strike a good start. Tomorrow's gonna be another day! Actually later, since it's past 12 midnight. Gonna spare half hour of my afternoon to catch up with a few old friends, hopefully teachers too, from Anderson. The good ol' days re-lived. Time for bed!
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