Survivor

Last day! Tomorrow at this time I'll be FULLY relaxed watching tv, packing my bag for my birthday shopping trip with my darling!! Wish me luck!

Borat with David Letterman

This Borat guy is ultimate! Crap! Anyway enjoy this episode of Borat with David Letterman.

Brink of collapse

2am in the morning. Still struggling to finish my revision for a paper less than 7 hours away. Haven't gotten any decent rest since yesterday. Had another paper earlier this afternoon. Really quite drained. I feel like surrendering actually. Keep asking myself what's the point. Haven't gotten any answer for myself.
Thanks to all my friends who have been so supportive. It's really nice to hear from you all, whether it's well wishes or just a casual you-have-been-missed. I miss you guys too. Of course special mention to my dear. I've been complaining so much these few days I think I'm now testing his patience.

If only...

Finally received a reply from my prof regarding my absence for a quiz. Not good news. He emailed this morning asking for a make-up tomorrow afternoon. Fine. I can study through the night and hopefully get some per cent for my final grade. Not fine. I don't have my notes at home and the files uploaded on Edventure is "damaged and cannot be repaired" according to Adobe Reader. Damn. How? Emailed my prof just a moment ago, hopefully he'll be benevolent enough as to solve my problem by uploading the files tonight or postpone it again. Or maybe I could pull a fast one on him? I was kinda sick this morning and I finished half a tub of chocolate ice-cream just now, by right I should be running a fever soon or a very bad cold. Get a MC and bye-bye to quiz. Haha. If only.

Depression

I figured I don't have to worry about what others may think when they read my blog, since no one since to be reading it anyway. So here comes the complaining I've been holding back...

1. The jie meis no longer feel as close as before. Everyone seems to be having their own things and own best friends already. In fact I feel it's just me that's been left out. Feel as if I'm out of the circle just because I've been in a different uni and the friends we've been mixing are all different. Hurts more when I knew about them going for shopping, coffee or even overseas trips, with common friends from secondary or JC without being asked. It may seem a little blowing-out-of-proportion but I guess it all because of the feeling of losing close friends. Everything seems a little larger than usual. I'm just sad thinking that in the future I'll be working and when I knock off there's only home to return to. No girls' night out or gathering to ramble about office politics or the cute guy you met over lunch. Sigh.

2. Went for a surprise birthday party organised for a close friend, talked about lots of things with old friends. Realised I've drifted very far from many of them. Suits me since I was never very close to them previously. But missed some of them, the closer ones. We were so polite and careful with our words it felt distant. But it was most saddening when I realised none of them remembered my birthday. They were discussing about the next birthdays to celebrate and it clean slipped their minds. Well blame it that yourself, girl. You've never really found a place in their cliques anyway.

3. Came back from a night out with my dear. Kinda disappointing day out. Not that I didn't wanna see him or that he did something wrong. He's so tired from work he wasn't exactly making any effort to seem like he's enjoying time with me. I felt like I was wasting his time being out with me when he could be back home sleeping. Heart-breaking. There's nothing I could do anyway, I could only tell him You'll understand next semester. Sigh squared.

4. My prof is completely irritating. Emailed him regarding my absence from the quiz due to my interview on Tuesday. The academic sub-dean couldn't approve the leave 'cause the interview was from a self-sourced company, so I emailed him back to ask how I'm suppose to make up for it and even forwarded to email from the company for his verification. Not a single reply from Wednesday until now. If he's just gonna flunk me for it at least let me know beforehand. Damn it.

5. Can't decide what phone I wanna get for myself. This is kinda funny 'cause I'm complaining about myself, being indecisive. Functionality, simplicity or aesthetic value? Irritatingly fickled mind.

6. For once can I keep something to myself? The Swatch watch deal was supposed to be a personal thing, to get a pair of nice, presentable watches for my dear and myself. I had to let my friends find out and open my big mouth about the insider news. Almost got into an argument with my dear about troubling his friends. It wasn't exactly an argument, since it was my fault in the first place. Another complaint about myself. For goodness sake, can I please reflect upon myself and change all these countless flaws? Sighs to power of infinity.

So many disappointing things in life how should I deal with them?

Before I head for the slaughter house

Although it seems as if I'm the only person visiting my own blog, I'll still try my best to keep it alive. Disclaimer: I didn't promised lively. Just alive. Anyway this entry's like a will in some sense, just in case I literally got killed by my exams which is like exactly a week after. No surprise on the fatalities after having gone through 2 years and bao-ing 3 modules already. Sigh. Don't remind me. I'm listening to [Superman] by Green Day. Totally don't relate to the song 'cause I feel like a worm now, considering the state of my revision. In case I do not make it (probably 'cause I vomitted excessive blood over the horrendous exam questions), here's a list of people I'll always remember:
My family, which includes my mummy, daddy and self-centered, irritating and calculative sister, for being with me whether I was doing well or totally disappointed with myself. How matter irritating my sister can get, she still the one that "feeds" me every month. (I was referring to my allowance, in case you still didn't get it. Duh.) Parents may be naggy but sit down and think about it before you start complaining. Recently my daddy has been indirectly telling me what I should NOT do. He was referring to a specific THING I should NOT do. This topic was triggered by my year-end trip to Malaysia with my boy-boy. I guess I don't need to spell it out, we're all knowledgeable people. True, it's sound advice 'cause I'll be the one on the losing side. So how matter much it irritates me that he's repeating it again and again, I'll always curb my urge to shut him up with an I-know-what-to-do tone.
Another person will be my darling piggy. Not referring to the big dirty stuffed piglet sitting in my hostel room. My boy-boy who's always so sweet and wonderful. I'll avoid going into mushy details. I know how it feels to listen or see these kinda mushy, sweet nothings from another couple, the feeling is like eWwWW!!! and Stop it! Haha. I've still got the surprise to give. I can't wait myself!
Another group of people I'll like to specially single out are my long-lost friends. Not just the ordinary friends here, but friends I confided in and have since lost the feel. Doesn't mean we don't keep in contact anymore, but just that it seems like a different friend from before. We no longer share hours doing useless gossiping and bitching, wasting time on the now outdated mIRC, walking round far east with no particular aim, playing basketball every week till my ball was totally worn-out. I can go on and on but I think you get the picture. It's a sad thing but I miss my friends. My "lost" friends. When I feel like complaining and bitching, I don't want to always have to turn to my boy-boy. How come my life can't be like in TV commercials, where friends are always there anytime anywhere, happy or sad. As I quote from a friend's MSN nick, 'Enuff said.
To my friends who I currently know, take care. Most of you should be having exams or at least preparing for them. Hang on! It'll soon be over. Hopefully after that we can put aside some time and search for the "lost" self that some friends out there (like me) are looking for.

Happy Anniversary!

This came a bit late but better than never. Anyway I've ALREADY wished him through SMS HAPPY ANNIVERSARY DEAR!!! 20 months and I'm proud to say it's still going strong. Occasional squabbles and cold wars, but I guess we never had the heart to sustain it for too long or hold the grudge too deep. Thanks for all the wonderful moments you given me these 20 months. I'm truly looking forward to our trip this year-end. Simple but it's all we need. Time together. Your birthday with mine. What better combination for a reason. Hehe. Love you millions and zillions!

At least somebody likes me

Anyway life is fair. I guess. Rejected by Aspentech but received my interview with Shell. Better than nothing. Make sure I work for it. Read up on the company, study my unit ops, explore the possibilities of the industry. If there's anything I left out please be kind enough to drop me a note before next tuesday. FINALLY my U2-G2000 jacket is up to good use. Ha. Time to sleep. Nites.