The holidays that wasn't a holiday.

Finally after a month's long break(from blogging, not work or responsibilities or whatsoever along that line), I'm back with much to update my ardent supporters. (As if I have any, even if had any I probably have long pissed them off with we erratic frequency of writing.) Anyway I'm now supposed to be at SCBE FOC, but due to my lousy medical condition and a pure lazy butt I'm now back in my room. Back at hall 12, not even at hall 4. Quite surprised they managed to get accommodation for all campers. Not having to cramp 6 people in 1 small double room(heard they were doing that for Insinyur Engineering Camp). Quite coincidental, had both my junior and senior from AJ in the same group and also Seth's friend. Felt funny that my senior is now my junior. Hmmm... the disruptions NS cause to our lives.
Anyway been working for the last few weeks. Stopped work 2 weeks ago. But been busy with DnD's and FOCs' stuff. Sigh. But taking it on a more positive note, I spent time with DeaR too.
I don't know why but recently I miss him so much so frequently. So much so that sometimes I just can't bear to lose my temper at him for certain things that he does or did not do. I helped out with his Hall FOC group's video filming, hoping I'd relieve him of the pressure he's been suffering from being a GL head. I end up being called bossy. I admit my way of suggesting ideas may come across harsher and more forceful, but I was just trying to help. I didn't throw my tantrum at him, but neither did I hide my unhappiness. I was tired too, he wasn't the only one. But just couldn't bring myself to put the blame on him even partially. I was just too afraid to lose him. I had a taste of being loved and to love, I would give everything to keep this feeling with me forever. I wish never to feel alone again. It felt fine when all I had was myself back then because there was no comparison to be made, whereas now I'll probably always think back of the times I had him with me. Tightly cuddled up in his arms. Simply knowing that I would never have to be afraid of being cold, 'cause the sight of him warms my heart. I don't know why I feel so strongly recently, but I really feel I need to cherish this relationship much much more than I am doing now. Please give me time. I need advice. I can't read you, unless you let me...