Sometime through the past 3 months, the line between my work and personal life got blurred.
Work affected my personal life. In turn, my personal life got in the way of work.
My official 8.5 hours per day could never fit the responsibilities I had to fulfil. So it became 9 hours, 10 hours and eventually the weekends were not spared. I used to tell myself to draw a clear line between the two. Leave what's undone in the office, your family and friends don't deserve to suffer the shit you had to go through. But as responsibilities piled on, my resolute to keep that principle disappeared. Then I started questioning myself.
Have I gone all soft and laid-back?
Am I less capable than I was?
Am I being fair to myself? Is it what I'm supposed to do?
Why was it that I felt I could take on the world previously and I feel so incompetent now?
Slowly but surely I realised I am falling into a downward spiral. I can't find a way out. I know it but I just can't get out.
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