2 days of school already. Seems like I'm getting more rest this week. Intensive cheerleading trainings. Slept my entire afternoon today. Finished my classes at 1230(Thank goodness for it because it's the first week and there's no tutorials). Now rather awake but still I'm more or less decided that I'm missing the morning 0830 lecture(C'mon, give me a break. Who needs to attend a lecture on Unit Conversion? I'm a freaking undergrad already!), let's see what time my biological clock wakes me up.
On monday went for track IH. Last minute notice but the ever "helpful" me still agreed nonetheless. First I was to be a reserve runner, then ended up we didn't have enough runners and DEAR Shu-Ying decided that she wasn't well enough to run(like real. Nice try, girl. Try better acting next time.) so ended she was the one being replaced by YuQing. Freak. Worse still I was placed as the final leg in the 4x400m relay. Came back as last position in our heats. Lousy feeling. Felt all numb in my hands, as if all the blood had rushed to the legs. Somehow I could push myself as hard as I was able to back in secondary school days. But at least I felt better than during swimming. Maybe it was the fact that I didn't actually train as a runner for the hall, unlike swimming. It's like effort didn't pay off kind of feeling for swimming. Forget it, I've got to get over it soon. It's been too long already.
Since school started, he hasn't been his cheerful self. Fell back to the gloomy state again. Tried cheering him up by many means. I don't know if it helps but I've tried. Tried reasoning, being cheerful myself(Kind of difficult knowing that he isn't), encouragements and advice, inspirational quotes and stories. Just hope they helped in some ways. If it doesn't I really don't know what I can still do. Everyday I just look forward to a smiling him. I smile and laugh as if I do not have a worry in the world, but hidden in the corner he constantly floods my mind. Dreamt this afternoon that he came into my room and saw my msn chat window with him. The heart-shaped background. I couldn't see his expression though. Just like the last time when the face of he guy was deliberately left out of view, maybe it was deliberately left out so I wouldn't know. The only way to know is to try. In person.
Okay, girl. This is getting a bit out of hand. You got to wake up your idea. Your priority should be studying now. Get the thought out. If he is to know a sign will appear. A chance would surface for you to express your heartfelt thoughts. Go sleep now.
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