Jealousy

Damn it. I suddenly feel the drain from me. Not physically. I only had driving circuit in the morning and cheerleading at night. Maybe it's really 'cause I'm feeling the mental drain.
For a day which I don't expect to see him, I'm exceptionally lucky. Somehow SiJia decided to ask me along to support the Hall team for Volleyball(female). I don't know why but maybe she felt I was available and was comfortable with me. Or maybe it was fate playing its game again. Wanted to leave back hall when he suddenly called out for us to join them. I didn't have to make the decision. It seemed like a spontaneous reaction. Then a trip to JP. We didn't talk much but I could somehow feel him opening up. Not just to me though, to everyone around. I just felt I couldn't have caused such a deep impact. I wasn't confident of doing so. I could still feel the barrier between us. Like an invisible force field. I couldn't help it. I felt jealous. Jealous that they joked about him being with someone else. Jealous that I wasn't even in the picture. Joke or no joke it hurted. Especially because he did not msn me today I felt empty somewhere. Something's missing. Does someone else holds a spot in his heart?
C'mon girl! Get a grip! Exam's coming and you haven't been paying attention in class. It's time to get practical and studying. Got Dancetitude practice tomorrow night. Probably be dead-beat after it. I'm going to sleep.